Do you want to collect family stories to tell your children and grandchildren? Or to use for Toastmasters or other presentations?
You might want to make a storytelling date to gather with older relatives and record stories. Or you can simply collect snippets from time to time. There is also an organization called StoryCorps that records, preserves, and shares the stories of everyday people.
The key to the process is to encourage stories, not just facts, because narratives are much more memorable. Have patience; not everyone is skilled at storytelling. Be prepared to ask follow-up questions to fill in gaps. Try to avoid questions that lead to “yes-or-no” answers.
Example: “What did your grandmother say when she arrived? How did you respond?”
Robyn Fivush, Ph.D., a storytelling expert who teaches at Emory University in Atlanta, values “iconic” family stories that are told again and again, yet she also feels that everyday family stories about anything and nothing create the strongest bonds. Many such stories are told in what Fivush calls the “small moments”: a few sentences shared while cooking together, or in the car, or watching a ballgame. We find comfort in the familiar.
To get you started, I’ve created a list of questions, based both on the book A Celebration of American Family Folklore: Tales and Traditions From the Smithsonian Collection and my own experience in the field.
One other note: Some stories may be too painful for the storyteller to share. Try not to push, but rather keep the encounters as joyful and stress-free as possible.
- Do you have immigration stories from your family?
- Did your family surname change, and if so, are there stories about that?
- Do you have a notorious or heroic character in your family’s past? Do you know stories about them?
- How did your relatives come to meet and marry? Are there stories of lost love, jilted brides, unusual courtships, arranged marriages, elopements, or runaway lovers?
- Are there any stories in your family about how a great fortune was lost or made or almost made?
- Does your family have any heirlooms that have stories connected to them?
- Do you recall stories about family feuds?
- Is there a particular scary story in the family?
Happy collecting!
—Caren S. Neile
