Toastmasters International -Learning to Tackle Conflict

Portrait of women in red suit jacket with Toastmasters pin

As a child, whenever I had a conflict with my sisters, I could always run to my mom to plead my case. She would then handle the issue, talking to my sisters on my behalf. But, of course, I can’t do that anymore. As an adult, I’ve had to learn to handle conflict in entirely different ways.

After college, I took a job that was over an hour away from where I lived, so I joined a carpool. I drove to work with three people, whom I’ll call Dolores, Nancy, and Jag.

It was quite an experience. Dolores was friendly and fun, and I always looked forward to sitting in the passenger seat when she drove. Nancy, on the other hand, was a bit stern and always kept the air conditioning at full blast.

Rather than simply asking her to turn it down or adjust the vents, I would rush to claim a spot in the backseat to avoid the discomfort. Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at how silly that was—why didn’t I just speak up? If I had been part of Toastmasters back then, I would have had the confidence to make such a simple request.

Joining Toastmasters changed everything. Within six months, I began to see a transformation in myself. I remember a specific moment that reinforced this change. I was in a meeting with coworkers and a client. During the discussion, the client raised some concerns about delays on the project. One of my coworkers, instead of taking responsibility, threw me under the bus, making it seem like I hadn’t done my part.

I was furious but didn’t want to escalate the situation in front of the client. Afterward, I vented to my boss, who encouraged me to address the issue directly. Summoning my newfound confidence, I spoke with my coworker and shared how I felt about what happened.

Conflict is an inevitable part of life, but how we handle it makes all the difference.

To my surprise, he admitted his mistake. What’s more, our discussion helped us better understand each other’s roles on the project, ultimately strengthening our working relationship.

Conflict is an inevitable part of life, but how we handle it makes all the difference. Rather than allowing issues to fester, it’s far more effective to address them early through open and honest communication. When we cultivate the self-confidence to express ourselves clearly, we create opportunities to resolve misunderstandings and prevent unnecessary tension.

As our founder, Dr. Ralph Smedley, wisely observed, “Understanding comes through communication, and through communication, we find the way to peace.”

Let’s all embrace the opportunities Toastmasters provides, grow our confidence, and improve our lives.